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As we wrote earlier, The Australian chapter of Communists for Kerry based in Sydney has set up a goal to achieve a 100% vote for John Kerry in the coming Australian national election. Curiously enough, John Kerry in Australian is pronounced as Mark Latham.
I believe in governments helping people. I want to free up the Australian people by giving them all a fair-go. This is what I mean by the ladder of opportunity - all Australians climbing upwards.
- Mark Latham
Australian workers and peasants!
On October 9, 2004, you will vote in Federal Election, or as our party calls it, the Great October Revolution.
We know you are as tired as we are of the mud-slinging of the bourgeois electoral process. We offer you a chance to end this once and for all by electing our dear leader Mark Latham. We promise you will never have to vote again!
Instead, we guarantees to install in every Australian home a ladder of opportunity (see picture). That's a $6.99 value - absolutely free!
Make your last vote count!
Because we care about the safety of our workers and peasants, we will not make the ladders very tall. A ladder of opportunity going too far may be unsafe. Therefore, everybody gets a short ladder. We won't have enough money for long ladders anyway.
Australian worker who has climbed a ladder of opportunity too long for his own good.
It's unfair that some people have longer ladders than the others. Under Latham, ladders shall be distributed in one size, design, and color. Ladders longer than three steps shall be outlawed. Unsafe bourgeois ladders of opportunity will be confiscated and discarded in an orderly fashion.
Unsafe bourgeois ladders of opportunity to be discarded
The Long March to the October Revolution
A meeting to discuss the coming October Revolution. Their aim is to depose the capitalist mad running dog Prime Minister John Howard.
Lenin and Che are surprised the Coalition of taxi drivers and pensioners angered by Mark Latham's bashing of their mates, crickey!
After giving the lackeys of PM John Howard their marching orders, Lenin laughs in the face of the cabbie and pensioner rank and file.
Following opposition leader Mark Latham's advice to climb the rungs on the ladder of opportunity, Lenin reaches the attic of Labor Party elites, only to be surprised by some well-known Labor party identities.
Exhausted and disturbed by climbing the ladder of opportunity, Lenin sits down to gorge on the unlimited fiscal magic pudding, that replenishes with each mouthful.
Comrade Mark Latham still believes in magic pudding economic theory even though he bankrupted Liverpool council (his only experience of management) by its implementation. If the Dear Leader is prepared to try this theory again on Australia we the 'not fussed' are sure he has a higher purpose in mind (no doubt explained in the attic by the Labor Party elites).
The great Lenin rests in preparation for the long march to the September mass rallies.
Party lieutenant and long-time communist sorry columnist, Philip Adams, has kindly sacrificed his palatial Paddington house to redress the disadvantages created by capitalisms savage inequities. All responses to this posting go into the Labor party lucky dip at www.communistsforkerry.com.
Philip Adams we're sure will vacate his ill gotten premises as soon as he realizes the importance of setting a good example to all affluent Labor elites in redressing past and future wrongs. The barrel girl will be Graham Richardson (prize comes with one free Swiss bank account).
Australian Language Guide
Opposition leader Mark Latham = John Kerry PM John Howard (man of steel) = President George Bush mate = friend crickey = wrestling a crocodile marching orders = thrown out rank and file = ordinary people not fussed = not worried Council = Town council September mass rallies = Football final series Philip Adams = serial prick Lucky dip = lottery Graham Richardson = under investigation for insider trading. Has Swiss bank account with unspecified funds in it. Former Labor party minister. Barrel girl = piece of fluff
By SnowDawg 10/05/04 - 5:48 am
I wish to report a grievous misallocation of party resources: a consignment of 100 opportunity ladders have been sent to me here in Canada. I have attempted to distribute as many of the ladders as I can to local party members, but I was recently informed (as per union regulations) that at least 9 unionized workers (in good standing with the party), are required to steady the ladders as we climb to our opportunity. Please ship at least 1000 Australian unionized party members ASAP to steady our opportunity.
In addition to the ladder I also received an enormous bald proto-hominid calling himself Peter Garrett. He claims to be a former singer for an Australian rock band called Midnight Oil and a Labor candidate. He is NOT house trained PLEASE take your labor party mascot back!!
By Politburo 10/05/04 - 12:24 pm
Howard all the way !!
By Aussiecom 10/06/04 - 5:53 am
I have climbed the mountain of one rung on the ladder of opportunity.I fear to climb further.
By Guest 10/06/04 - 6:58 am
I think some people should.
By Wes 10/09/04 - 12:10 am
This is a site put together by right wing wackos looking to bad mouth Kerry.
Hey, Kerry just won the second debate! In poll after poll it says Kerry won. Bush is toast!
He loses the third debate (which he will) he is history! Ha! Bush, what a loser!
By Sasha 10/09/04 - 12:54 am
You and your family will be shipped to a re-education camp in Alaska when Komarede Kerry wins! Your dastardly lies about Communists for Kerry are outrageous! Pack a small bag and wait by the door of your shack on the morning of November 3rd (or whenever the courts award the victory to our Dear Leader).
Of course we are aware of the on-line polls! They have been rigged using simple Sovietnet technology by Comrade Finn and our Socialist brothers in arms. We strive to get 100% approval for Komrade Kerry!
Now hop along and enjoy your last bourgois days of freedom.
By !!! 10/09/04 - 8:48 am
John Howard Wins Australian Elections
By Calmypal 10/09/04 - 1:46 pm
Now the Australians will solve a problem for us: November 3. George Bush has won, now what do we do?
By the way, WEs, it seems Democratic Underground sent all their people to those pols, unfairly weighting them against Bush...
By Strife 10/10/04 - 12:36 am
No worries people... John Howard beat Mark Latham. Handily even.
The polls about the debates have all been sabotaged by groups like Democratic Underground.
Democrats are losing all over the place, and badly too. It's denial by them to say otherwise.
Only the most biased pollers like John Zogby have state-by-state polls that have changed at all. Bush is going to slaughter Kerry on the Electoral College map.
...It is over...
Comrade Strife, how can it be sabotage to try to give to the people what is best for them? If democrats are losing, it must be fraud by the evil republicans. Democratic Underground (what a stirring and hip name!) realizes we must fight for the people with our own counter-fraud! We must also mobilize traditional democratic constituencies, such as illegal immigrants and the deceased.
Revolution never dies!
The Party's Razor
By Iron Felix 10/11/04 - 1:21 pm
Comrades in Australia have failed! When is special operation by SMERSH to do in these doughnut eating failures! Or - will comrades secrete themselves as moles into the reactionary government? Your brethern await the news, Comrades, all will be forgiven!
By e 10/12/04 - 6:48 pm
I expected to hear more from our friends down under. Perhaps the conservatives took them away.
By Angus Podgorny 10/17/04 - 12:21 pm
Our Comrades from Down Under have been "relocated." There will naturally be setbacks in the Great Worldwide Communist Revolution. There will also be scapegoats. I've got my "GET OUT OF GULAG CARD." Comrades! Your renewed efforts will hoist the red flag of victory over Washington!
By Comrade Stevenski 10/17/04 - 7:25 pm
Comrades, I propose a new Socialist holiday. It will be held on every first Tuesday of November every 2 Years. I call it, "Bring as many Illegal Immigerants and homeless people as you can to the polls day." However, if they show any signs of conservatism, such as being able to count over 10, skip the polls and bring them to the gulag. And don't forget to get back in line after you vote.
Also, I have contacted our comrades at The ACLU (American Criminal Lawyers Union), and they have assured me that the ballots will be in Spanish as well as 38 other languages of Comrade Kerry constituants. Also, they are attempting to get English taken off the ballots because it is racist to have the "National language" on the National Election Ballots because they might confuse some of our Comrades from South-of-the-Border areas who will be voting for Comrade Kerry.
Remember, they call it "Socialized" medicine because you get to "socialize" while waiting in line! I can't wait to see all the new friends I'll make!
By NatashahatesBushwinkle 10/17/04 - 8:57 pm
My heart goes out to our brethren down under! Chin up, darlinks! Never say die! Maybe once Kerry wins here in Amerika we can overthrow the capitalist pigs ruling Australia with our mighty sticks and pitchforks!
By bourgeois _boy 10/24/04 - 1:19 am
well, the revolution is already set to fail in the 2007 federal election. better dead than red!
By marko 07/19/05 - 11:48 pm
this is all a bunch of sh*t...remember komrades, with unity comes power, we must not be shaken by these elections but must stand our ground firmly. We should prepare ourself one last time for our final strugle we are about to face. There will be another uprising and this time none will stand in our way.