
A local peasant woman keeps respectful distance as she admires
Comrade Ivan Lenin, the great fatha of da revolution. |

Comrades Castro and Che, all dressed up, separate themselves
from the foliage as our communist horde descends on Union
Square. |

The crowd of workers, peasants, and toiling intelligentsia
of New York draws closer to observe the coming of the great
friends of the proletariat. |

The proletarians rejoice as they recognize the legendary leaders
and teachers of the toiling masses. |

Happy peasants bring humble offerings to the beloved leaders
to thank them for their selfless struggle for the world revolution. |

"Communists for Kerry, you clowns
are making Kerry look bad, people will
end up voting for Bush" …….DUH! |

Armed with tools of Marxist-Leninist
propaganda, Che begins the re-education
of the misguided |

The weapon of the proletariat: wonder of capitalist technology
iPod attached to the common bullhorn. A great tool secretly
to broadcast energizing background music to the revolutionary
struggle. |
|
So the arrival of
Lenin, Che and Castro didn’t even warrant
a second look. We hung our posters,
distributed fliers with the Get
Our Of Gulag Coupon on the front and the Party-Approved
Slogans For Spontaneous Protests on the back.
We handed out band aids from a box marked Kerry’s
free health care for all, delivered short
but passionate speeches - End the two Americas
and create one homogeneous welfare state! -
and played communist marches using a bullhorn
connected to an iPod.
At first the libs that came by to view our
material were devoid of any sense of sarcasm,
irony or satire. One individual who approached
me said, "get your commie crap out of
here; you're making John Kerry look bad." Other
libs thought we were really "cool" (wow,
our heroes, real communists!).
That is until they read our literature and
their faces turned to that angry twisted expression
that only the lib face can do when confronted
with a differing point of view (see: Bulldog
licking piss off a nettle).
Next came the intellectual elitism. We were
chastised by some angry gentlemen who became
as confrontational as only tolerant liberals can
be at the sight of opposition (see: Yeti, Loch
Ness Monster & Happy Liberal).
They accused us of - wait for it folks - I
kid you not ……………… "fooling
the average dumb American." Yes,
folks, all of us are average dumb people, ignorant
hicks who can’t think for themselves
and must instead be ruled by educated classes.
If only we had read Noam Chomsky instead of
bowling with a few of our neighbors. Then perhaps
we wouldn’t be driving those evil V8
pickup tucks and SUVs. We would be driving
European cars with a hair dryer for an engine
of course, as all enlightened people do.
Most people , however, took us at face value
and had a laugh with us or at our expense.
The "Free Healthcare" seemed to go
down a real treat with everybody, even some
die-hard libs were happy for a nanosecond.
As it turns out, the hardcore commies and
radicals on Soviet Union Square are easier
to get on with and have a decent political
debate with than your average New York City
Liberal. One bunch of young libs even went
so far as to spend some of their trust fund
on Super Soakers and splash their brand of tolerance upon
us. They ran around us with plastic water guns
calling us names and squirting water into our
eyes -- and there didn’t happen to be
a single flower around that we could stick
into their barrels. They disappeared as quickly
as they came, running to tell other peace-loving,
anti-gun comrades about their slaying of the
dragon of violence and intolerance. It was
about to start raining anyway.
They actually believed that six simpletons
dressed as communist icons talking a load of
nonsense could fool the average dumb American.
We were called a “threat to society” and
our actions were “reprehensible” (I
had to look that one up). But somehow the two
young guys visiting New York from Oklahoma
figured our sarcasm and irony straight away.
The supposedly ignorant hicks passed the irony
test better than the New York elites did. Apparently
they hadn’t received the lib memo.
|