| Get
CommunistsForKerry.com Email Address!
your_nom_de_guerre@CommunistsForKerry.com
We now offer to each comrade and comradochka
a unique and heroic opportunity to support the Party by getting
the "communistsforkerry" e-mail address through the Day of the
Revolution (otherwise known as Election Day). Scroll down for
further instructions.
Distributed on first-come-first-serve basis
to Party members. All others go back to the line
and examine this educational propagandistic art while you wait.
The Politbureau has received many written requests to offer this
service to the toling masses of our great Motherland. Below is
a typical letter:
Comrades,
While the People have shown exemplary good will and proletarian
compassion and understanding in supporting the Party,
it is a sad truth that in the current limbo of transition
to Communism, capitalist exploitation units (otherwise
masquerading under the duplicitous term "dollars" in
this still unenlightened polity) must continue to be
used. To this end, this comrade suggests that the Party
begin offering email addresses, for a nominal mandatory
voluntary contribution, for proletarian requisition
(i.e., sale).
This comrade would be proud indeed
to aver his support of the Party as Comrade_Tovarich@communistsforkerry.com.
Imagine the warm feeling such inescapably proletarian emails will radiate
into interlocutors at academic institutions, media
outlets, and weblogs, many of whom are already receptive
to our message and need only a slight nudge to be pushed
into openly avowing their love of the John Kerryist path to Communism
supremacy. Moreover, this comrade would be willing to selflessly
surrender $10 to have it functional only until the Day
of the Revolution (otherwise known as Election Day).
In your collective wisdom, I hope you will find this
suggestion profitable. In case you don't, rest assured
I have already begun self-criticism sessions.
Yours,
Comrade Tovarich |
The Party has always been responsive to the needs of the people,
especially if capitalist exploitation units are involved. Consider
it done, Comrade Tovarich! You are being awarded with an email
address free of charge (this does not excuse you from making
a voluntary contribution).
Instructions:
- Type in your revolutionary name (nom de guerre) below. No spaces,
no funny characters allowed. Use underscore (_) if necessary.
Press SIGN UP! button.
- Selflessly surrender ten capitalist exploitation units (aka "dollars"),
to have the address in full operational capacity. In the "comments" field
you may type other revolutionary names in case your first choice
is unavailable.
- Wait for a transmission from us. You will receive detailed
instructions on how to start using your new account.
- Spam and viruses are the inevitable evil of the capitalist
system. Do not open any suspicious attachments even if they came
from us. They may be sent by agent provocateurs posing as Communists
For Kery. Trust no one, especially yourself!
Our victory is most certainly assured, and is no doubt
being collectively built. We will soon be able to take off
the oppressive chains of the capitalist bourgeoisie, and walk freely
locking hand and elbow into our new bright Communist future! |
